Seymour Meaning (n.)
A pen name. The person who sat at the family table, the staff room and the Monday meeting, and wrote everything down.
Seymour Meaning is not a real name. It is, however, a real job. Somebody has to listen when Dad says "I know a shortcut," when Mom says "I'm fine," and when the boss says "Let's circle back," and then write down what was actually meant. That is the job, and there are now eight books of it.
The series
The Unofficial Dictionary is a series of humor gift books. Each one collects 500 classic things one kind of person says and translates them, deadpan, in the style of a dictionary entry:
I know a shortcut.
TRANSLATION: We are now completely lost.
Each book has 500 numbered entries in themed chapters, original illustrations throughout, an A–Z index of every quote and a few blank pages at the back for the sayings that belong only to your family.
How the entries are written
Every entry starts with a sentence you have heard a hundred times. The translation is short, dry and specific. There are no exclamation marks and no emoji, and nobody is the butt of the joke except the situation. The joke is in the gap between what was said and what everyone knows was meant.
Entries go through the same test: if a real dad, mom or teacher reads it and says "I never said that," it stays.
Contact
Press, bookstores and general inquiries: hello@unofficialdictionary.com. The books are sold on Amazon, in paperback and for Kindle.
