Did I Ever Tell You About…
500 Things Your Grandpa Said — Decoded at Last
A Funny Birthday & Father's Day Gift for GrandpaComing November 1
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Finally. A translator for Grandpa.
“Did I ever tell you about…” “Pull my finger.” “How much?!” Every grandkid has heard it all, usually more than once. This book decodes 500 classic grandpa sayings, from the fish that got away and the coffee can of screws to the early-bird special, the flip phone and the butterscotch in his pocket, so the whole family can finally understand what Grandpa is actually saying.
Warning: CONTAINS LONG STORIES. MOST START IN 1958.
- 500 numbered grandpa-isms, decoded
- 43 original illustrations
- A–Z index of every quote
- Fill-in pages for your own grandpa’s originals
Look inside
10 of the 500 entriesDid I ever tell you about the time...
TRANSLATION: He did. Forty times. It gets better every time.
Yes, dear.
TRANSLATION: The secret to 55 years of marriage. Said with love.
What's that behind your ear?
TRANSLATION: It is a quarter. Grandpa is a magician.
Hand me that coffee can.
TRANSLATION: There are 30 coffee cans. Each one is full of screws. None are labeled.
I paid a nickel for that.
TRANSLATION: In 1953. Grandpa still expects a nickel.
The airport? Leave four hours early.
TRANSLATION: The flight is at noon. Grandpa is at the gate at 8.
Let's get the early bird special.
TRANSLATION: Dinner at 4 p.m. Half price. Grandpa is thrilled.
Speed limit's a limit, not a goal.
TRANSLATION: Grandpa is going ten under. With the blinker on.
I married up.
TRANSLATION: Grandpa says this every anniversary. Grandma agrees.
Hop in the truck.
TRANSLATION: There is no destination. There will be a milkshake.
What's inside
- Entries
- 500
- Pages
- 180
- Size
- 6 × 9 in
- Printed in
- Full color
43 original illustrations, an A–Z index of every quote, and fill-in pages for your own grandpa's originals.
Chapters
- Did I Ever Tell You About…
- The Weather Report
- Got Your Nose!
- The Coffee Can of Screws
- Grandpa vs. Technology
- How Much?!
- The Early Bird Special
- Gone Fishin'
- A Hard Day's Work
- Grandpa's Driving
- Grandpa's Wisdom
- Married 55 Years
- Pocket Change
- All My Love, Grandpa
Questions
Is it appropriate for kids?
Yes. There is no swearing and nothing you would need to explain at dinner. It is written for adults, but kids old enough to recognize their own grandpa tend to read it out loud.
Is there a Kindle version?
Yes. The Kindle edition has all 500 entries and the illustrations, and it costs less than the paperback.
Can I gift the Kindle version?
Yes. On the Kindle book's Amazon page, choose “Buy for others” and Amazon emails it to the person on the date you pick.
How big is it?
It is a 6 × 9 inch paperback with 180 pages: 500 numbered entries, 43 original illustrations, an A–Z index and a few fill-in pages for their own originals.
Is it full color?
Yes. Every page is printed in full color, illustrations included.
