Because I Said So.
500 Things Your Mom Said — Decoded at Last
A Funny Mother's Day & Birthday Gift for MomComing October 18
Leave your email and we'll tell you the day it's on Amazon. One email. No follow-ups.
Finally. A translator for Mom.
“Because I said so.” “I’m counting to three.” “I’m fine.” For generations, kids have heard it all and understood none of it. This book decodes 500 classic mom sayings, from the dinner table and the laundry pile to the countdown, the car and The Look, so the whole family can finally understand what she’s actually saying.
Warning: CONTAINS THE LOOK. EYE-ROLLING WILL BE NOTED.
- 500 numbered momisms, decoded
- 43 original illustrations
- A–Z index of every quote
- Fill-in pages for your own mom’s originals
Look inside
10 of the 500 entriesI'm counting to three...
TRANSLATION: Nobody has ever found out what happens at three.
I'm fine.
TRANSLATION: She is not fine. Proceed with caution.
Because I said so.
TRANSLATION: The case is closed. There is no appeal.
Maybe.
TRANSLATION: It's a no with a waiting period.
Over my dead body.
TRANSLATION: Mom is in excellent health.
Mothers know everything.
TRANSLATION: Mostly by looking at your face.
Put a sweater on, I'm cold.
TRANSLATION: Mom's temperature is the official temperature.
Let me feel your forehead.
TRANSLATION: Mom's hand is a medical-grade thermometer.
I'm not angry, I'm disappointed.
TRANSLATION: Disappointed is worse. Everybody knows.
Call your mother.
TRANSLATION: She doesn't need anything. She just wants to hear you.
What's inside
- Entries
- 500
- Pages
- 176
- Size
- 6 × 9 in
- Printed in
- Full color
43 original illustrations, an A–Z index of every quote, and fill-in pages for your own mom's originals.
Chapters
- Rules of the House
- Because I Said So
- The Countdown
- The Look
- Eyes in the Back of Her Head
- Eat It and Like It
- The Mess Files
- We're Going to Be Late
- The Bank of Mom
- You'll Catch Your Death
- I Do Everything Around Here
- Mother Knows Best
- Mom Logic
- All the Love
Questions
Is it appropriate for kids?
Yes. There is no swearing and nothing you would need to explain at dinner. It is written for adults, but kids old enough to recognize their own mom tend to read it out loud.
Is there a Kindle version?
Yes. The Kindle edition has all 500 entries and the illustrations, and it costs less than the paperback.
Can I gift the Kindle version?
Yes. On the Kindle book's Amazon page, choose “Buy for others” and Amazon emails it to the person on the date you pick.
How big is it?
It is a 6 × 9 inch paperback with 176 pages: 500 numbered entries, 43 original illustrations, an A–Z index and a few fill-in pages for their own originals.
Is it full color?
Yes. Every page is printed in full color, illustrations included.
