I Was Listening.
500 Things Your Husband Said — Decoded at Last
A Funny Anniversary & Valentine's Day Gift for HusbandComing November 8
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Finally. A translator for your husband.
“I was listening.” “I can fix that.” “Two minutes left.” Every wife has heard them, and most have stopped believing them. This book decodes 500 classic husband sayings, from the ketchup he can’t find and the shortcut that isn’t to the man cold, the guys and the anniversary he definitely remembered, so she can finally read him like a book. Because now he is one.
Warning: HE WILL SAY HE ALREADY READ IT.
- 500 numbered husband-isms, decoded
- 43 original illustrations
- A–Z index of every quote
- Fill-in pages for your own husband’s originals
Look inside
10 of the 500 entriesI was listening.
TRANSLATION: He heard a voice. He could not say whose.
We're out of ketchup.
TRANSLATION: The ketchup is in the fridge door, where it has always been.
It's a five-minute job.
TRANSLATION: It is a three-trip-to-the-hardware-store job.
Which one is Karen again?
TRANSLATION: Karen has been her best friend for eleven years.
Where's the remote?
TRANSLATION: Under him. He is sitting on it.
I'll start Monday.
TRANSLATION: Every Monday. Since 2014.
This is a shortcut.
TRANSLATION: It is not. It goes past the same gas station twice.
I threw my back out.
TRANSLATION: His back is out. It went out bending down to pick up a sock.
Wait, which anniversary is it?
TRANSLATION: The one with the number. That number.
You're my best friend.
TRANSLATION: He has guys. She is his person.
What's inside
- Entries
- 500
- Pages
- 176
- Size
- 6 × 9 in
- Printed in
- Full color
43 original illustrations, an A–Z index of every quote, and fill-in pages for your own husband's originals.
Chapters
- I Was Listening.
- I Can Fix That.
- Where Is It?
- Two Minutes Left.
- I'm Starving.
- I Know Where I'm Going.
- Do We Need This?
- I'm Not Sick. I'm Dying.
- Your Mother Is Lovely.
- The Guys.
- Husband Wisdom.
- I Remember. Kind Of.
- Date Night.
- Love You, Mean It.
Questions
Is it appropriate for kids?
Yes. There is no swearing and nothing you would need to explain at dinner. It is written for adults, but kids old enough to recognize their own husband tend to read it out loud.
Is there a Kindle version?
Yes. The Kindle edition has all 500 entries and the illustrations, and it costs less than the paperback.
Can I gift the Kindle version?
Yes. On the Kindle book's Amazon page, choose “Buy for others” and Amazon emails it to the person on the date you pick.
How big is it?
It is a 6 × 9 inch paperback with 176 pages: 500 numbered entries, 43 original illustrations, an A–Z index and a few fill-in pages for their own originals.
Is it full color?
Yes. Every page is printed in full color, illustrations included.
