Have You Eaten?
500 Things Your Grandma Said — Decoded at Last
A Funny Birthday & Mother's Day Gift for GrandmaComing October 25
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Finally. A translator for Grandma.
“Have you eaten?” “Don’t tell your mother.” “Are you seeing anyone?” Every grandkid has heard it all, usually with a full plate in front of them. This book decodes 500 classic grandma sayings, from the second helping and the folded twenty to the purse, the phone calls and the holiday seating chart, so the whole family can finally understand what Grandma is actually saying.
Warning: CONTAINS SECOND HELPINGS. YOU WILL BE FED.
- 500 numbered grandma-isms, decoded
- 43 original illustrations
- A–Z index of every quote
- Fill-in pages for your own grandma’s originals
Look inside
10 of the 500 entriesHave you eaten?
TRANSLATION: It does not matter. You are eating again.
Don't tell your mother.
TRANSLATION: A secret has been created. It will be kept forever.
Here's a little something.
TRANSLATION: A twenty-dollar bill has been folded into a tiny square.
Bring the containers back.
TRANSLATION: The containers are on loan. Grandma remembers every single one.
Where are my glasses?
TRANSLATION: On Grandma's head. Every single time.
Everything you need is in Grandma's purse.
TRANSLATION: This is true. Science cannot explain it.
I'm not one to gossip, but...
TRANSLATION: Grandma is one to gossip.
Don't throw away the wrapping paper.
TRANSLATION: Grandma will iron it. Grandma will reuse it next year.
So when are the babies coming?
TRANSLATION: You got married four hours ago.
What's my password again?
TRANSLATION: It is written on a sticky note. On the phone.
What's inside
- Entries
- 500
- Pages
- 178
- Size
- 6 × 9 in
- Printed in
- Full color
43 original illustrations, an A–Z index of every quote, and fill-in pages for your own grandma's originals.
Chapters
- Have You Eaten?
- Look How You've Grown!
- Don't Tell Your Mother
- In My Day
- Grandma Tech Support
- Are You Seeing Anyone?
- Grandma's Health Report
- The Purse
- Holidays at Grandma's
- Grandma's House
- Grandma Logic
- The Grapevine
- Call Your Grandmother
- All the Love
Questions
Is it appropriate for kids?
Yes. There is no swearing and nothing you would need to explain at dinner. It is written for adults, but kids old enough to recognize their own grandma tend to read it out loud.
Is there a Kindle version?
Yes. The Kindle edition has all 500 entries and the illustrations, and it costs less than the paperback.
Can I gift the Kindle version?
Yes. On the Kindle book's Amazon page, choose “Buy for others” and Amazon emails it to the person on the date you pick.
How big is it?
It is a 6 × 9 inch paperback with 178 pages: 500 numbered entries, 43 original illustrations, an A–Z index and a few fill-in pages for their own originals.
Is it full color?
Yes. Every page is printed in full color, illustrations included.
