Funny anniversary gifts for him and her

An anniversary is a good time to show your partner that you know them completely: every phrase, every sigh, every “it’s fine” and what it really means.

There are two books for this, one for each side of the marriage.

Do Whatever You Want. decodes 500 things your wife says. “Do whatever you want.” Translation: permission has been granted, it is a trap, do not do whatever you want. “Check behind the milk.” Translation: it is behind the milk, it is always behind the milk.

I Was Listening. decodes 500 things your husband says. “I was listening.” Translation: he heard a voice, he could not say whose. “We’re out of ketchup.” Translation: the ketchup is in the fridge door, where it has always been.

Both books are illustrated in full color, and both end with a chapter that’s honestly sweet, so they read as real anniversary gifts and not only as jokes. The first anniversary is traditionally paper, which is convenient. Some couples buy both and trade, each reading about the other, and that is where most of the arguments start.

Pick the one for your partner, wrap it, and let them read it next to you. You’ll hear exactly which pages are true.